How to Teach Your Kids to Play Independently

Last updated on March 2nd, 2025 at 08:49 pm

As a previous work-from-home mom (actually, I’m about to become one again!), one thing that was really important to me was teaching my kids to play independently. I had my two kids home until my oldest was three and a half and my youngest was almost two, and I worked a full-time job at the same time. So, it was essential that my kids were able to play without my constant attention, so I could work for some periods. Even if you’re a stay-at-home mom, you’re going to need some time to get things done, so you’ll need independent play time. So, here’s what I did to make sure my kids could play independently.

Set up a safe play area

The right play area is the crucial first step. Your kids need a play area that is completely safe for them. Otherwise, you’re going to be running interference the whole time they’re playing. There are definitely some things you can teach them depending on age (like my kids know not to mess with the TV, which is in their play area), but in general, the room should be safe.

This means babyproofing appropriately and stocking it with age-safe toys. You want to make sure there’s nothing they can get into that isn’t allowed. This way, they’re able to just roam in their little area by themselves, and you can get stuff done. If you’ve got a real little one, I recommend a huge playpen.

Get them toys they can use on their own

This can be a tricky balance because you don’t want toys that are so challenging that they need you to work with them, but not so easy that they get bored fast. So, “age-appropriate” is the key word here. This might mean doing some research, but it also might just mean paying attention to what your kids are playing with and how fast they’re dropping it.

For example, if your kid has a really basic puzzle that they’re able to complete in under a minute and move on, it’s your clue that they need some more challenging puzzles. If you see them struggling with stacking cups to the point where they give up, maybe start with some stacking rings instead.

I’ve heard good things about Lovevery, which will send you age-appropriate toys every couple of months. But it’s expensive, so if cost is a concern, you can probably just go to a local thrift store and find things that work for your child’s age. If you’ve got friends with kids, they might also be able to pass on toys their kids have outgrown.

Rotate toys periodically

This is another important detail so kids don’t get bored. If they have the same things to play with every day, those toys are not going to be as interesting, and they won’t last. Keep in mind that you don’t need TONS of toys. You just need rotating interesting ones.

Especially when they’re little, they will forget toys exist. So, if you just periodically store and rotate your toys, they will find them new and interesting again when you bring them out. If you do this every couple of weeks/months (depending on your kid’s age), this will keep them engaged longer without you needing to spend a bunch of money on toys. Just keep them in a bucket out of reach and bring them out when it seems like your kid is getting bored with the existing toy pool.

Set up activities or stations

This is something you might not want to do, and I don’t think it’s essential. I honestly never set up actual activities for my kids. I didn’t have the time to research what would work, and I didn’t have time to set them up. Every time I tried, it just didn’t go. That being said, more power to you. If you want to set up activities and have the time to find ones that will sustain their attention, I’m all for it.

But that doesn’t work for me, so I’ve set up stations in my house with specific toys. This goes along with rotating toys and keeping things interesting. So, my kids have toys that they are only allowed to play with at the table, toys that stay in the living room, and toys that stay on the porch. This makes each area a little more interesting because they know if they’re sitting at the table, they get to play with their table toys. I’ve found this to be the easiest and most helpful.

Don’t break their concentration if they’re playing alone

This is the number one thing you have to do if you want to teach your kids to play independently, which is to actually let them play independently. Sometimes we feel like we need to break into our kid’s playtime by asking them a question or breaking in with our own ideas, and we really don’t need to do that. Unless they’re asking to engage with you, you can let them be. Just leave them alone.

As you give them more space to concentrate, the stretches of time that they’re able to play alone will get longer. My toddlers could play for a solid half hour to an hour without any input from me and be totally content. This was especially true once there were two of them, and they could just play with each other. I got them to this point by just setting up the right area, putting out the right toys, and leaving them be. They would find a way to entertain themselves, and I left it that way.

If you find that your kids aren’t doing this, stay patient and redirect them. Depending on age, you can say, “I need to do some laundry. Do you want to go play with your puzzles?” or “I need to empty the dishwasher, but as soon as I’m done, I’ll come play with you for a bit.” Encourage them to play on their own, and don’t feel guilty for doing so. Eventually, they will do it on their own without encouragement from you. It just might take some time for them to build up that stamina.

Give them dedicated play time with you

This is another crucial detail to teaching your kids to play independently that often gets overlooked. They need dedicated time with their parents, even if it’s only 15-20 minutes every once in a while. If you give them that focus time, they’re more likely to be satisfied playing by themselves for a bit. They’ve gotten that attention from you, so they’re more willing to go off on their own. Otherwise, they’re going to interrupt you every thirty seconds because they’re looking for that attention and validation (which is completely understandable and age-appropriate). So, make sure they have that time with you to avoid attention-seeking behavior. Plus, obviously, spending time with your kids is just good for them and you.

Depending on their age, you can even talk to them about this. You can say something like, “Okay, I’m going to play with you for fifteen minutes, and then, I need to make lunch, so you can play with your toys while I do that.” Then, give them a warning as you get closer, so they’re prepared to play on their own.

If you want your kids to be able to play on their own, you have to give them the space (physically and mentally) to do that. You have to remember that they have their own imaginations and inclinations. They’re perfectly capable of not needing attention from you every second when it comes to playtime, but you have to create that for them. It may take time, but it’s completely doable.

Have any questions? Drop them below!